What’s dating a mama’s boy like?
Well, sometimes, the things that look cute in your dude could actually be the red flags that you are blindly walking over. If the boy is close to his mother and he doesn’t shy away from showing it, then it is adorable, but if your man cannot function without his mama’s nod on everything, then that’s a huge red flag right there.
This is an uncomfortable truth that the relationship between your man and his mother will have a direct impact on his love life. If they have a strained relationship that will also have an effect on his mentality and if he has a toxic dependent relationship with his mother, then that will also strain your relationship with your husband. His relationship with his mother could have a direct association with the way he handles most situations.
Though certain research suggests that being a mother’s boy has certain benefits too. Studies suggest that boys who have a strong connection with their mothers had fewer behavior issues. Another study found that they have better mental and physical health. They are also less prone to violence. However, an unhealthy attachment to his mother could be a problem.
Dating a Mama’s Boy – When should you be cautious?
The blurred borders
If your man confides in his mother, shares even the minute details of his day, and talks about his personal and professional matters at length and depth, then there is a red flag. This means she will be involved in all your life decisions and your husband will be constantly consulting his mother on everything. Because all your life decisions would be depending on his mother and you would feel left out of your own life.
Insecurities and lack of bonding
Because he would always be so glued to his mother, you will never get that place you desire in his life. You will never be his first priority or his go-to person because that position is already filled and there is no point arguing. This will be the reason for your insecurities and eventually lead to a lack of bonding between the two of you.
Too much dependency
When your man is a mama’s boy, there is a fair chance that his mother treats him like a tiny toddler. From doing his laundry to choosing his dresses, he is totally dependent on his mother for everything. As such, you will not be getting a partner but a man-child that you have to take care of like a child. This can be downright frustrating and will eventually lead to conflicts in the relationship.
The financial leash
If your man looks at his mom for cash then just pack your bags and run. Because that financial leash is going to control his and your life decisions. He will always take his mother’s side just because she is also his provider. So, no matter how affluent the family is if your man is dependent on his mother for his finances then it is the biggest red flag.
Such behaviors are often a sign of enmeshment. When enmeshment persists into adulthood, men may continue to rely on their mothers to meet their practical, financial, emotional, and social needs. Examples might include having his mom balance his checkbook, clean his house, and provide money.
The wrong relationship counselor
Having the wrong relationship counselor could wreck your relationship and if it’s either of your parents then it will lead to problems. His mother will always have a biased view on the issues and this will leave you frustrated and him feeling validated. So, if you need counseling then go to a professional counselor who would have a neutral opinion. But having his mother as the love guru is a big red flag in the relationship.
What To Do if You Married a Mama’s Boy?
Living with a mama’s boy is not the easiest thing and at some point, or the other it may take a toll on your marriage. But there are a few tips that might help you save your marriage if it’s worth saving.
Make yourself a top priority
Don’t make your marriage the center stage of your life. Make yourself your top priority and don’t be scared to speak your mind. It is okay to be a little selfish. Focus on your work, find a hobby, explore your interests, and bond with your friends. He must know that you are independent and not someone to be taken for granted.
Don’t fall in the loop of resentment
Resentment in marriage is one of the most common feelings, but it’s a loop that drags you down. You can try meditation, counseling, or trying to talk it out with your husband. Take a stand for yourself if your mother-in-law keeps interfering constantly. Eventually, they will understand.
Don’t be a nagger
If your husband is a mama’s boy, then know that there is no point nagging about his mom. He is never going to take your side and in the worst case, he would just go and tell his mom everything you say. This will lead to toxicity between the three of you.
Try open communication
The simplest yet the best move is to have a direct conversation with your husband. Tell him what you expect from the relationship and it might take time but if he really loves you then he will understand your point.
Establish Clear Boundaries
Mama’s boys are used to their mother catering to their needs. But being a partner doesn’t mean you need to do that as well. This could be too much of a burden on you if your man doesn’t even pick his own glass. You shouldn’t be a slave in the relationship just because your husband is spoilt. Establish clear boundaries and let him know that you are his partner not his mother.
Ayurvedic Doctor’s opinion
Dealing with a mama’s boy can be a challenging experience, but it’s not an impossible task. With the right approach and mindset, it’s possible to overcome the challenges that come with dating or marrying a mama’s boy.
One study found that women who are involved with mama’s boys tend to experience higher levels of stress and anxiety, which can lead to relationship problems and even mental health issues.
However, another study found that couples who work together to establish boundaries with their mother-in-law tend to have more successful relationships.
Ultimately, the key to dealing with a mama’s boy is communication and compromise. It’s important to have an open and honest dialogue with your partner about your concerns and feelings, while also acknowledging the importance of their relationship with their mother.
One effective solution is to establish clear boundaries and expectations early on in the relationship.
For example, you might agree to limit the amount of time your partner spends talking to their mother on the phone or set boundaries around holidays and family gatherings.
Another strategy is to focus on building a strong relationship with your partner’s mother. By showing her respect and kindness, you can help alleviate some of the tensions and conflicts that often arise in these situations.
Ultimately, it’s important to remember that dealing with a mama’s boy is a journey, not a destination. It will take time, patience, and a willingness to work together to overcome the challenges that come with this type of relationship dynamic.
In conclusion, while it may not always be easy, dealing with a mama’s boy is possible. By staying proactive, communicating effectively, and approaching the situation with empathy and understanding, you can build a happy and healthy relationship with your partner and their mother.