He wore a Rolex, drove a BMW, and couldn’t get an erection.
“Doc,” he said, “everything in my life rises—except me.”
There it was—the million-rupee confession wrapped in shame, confusion, and a little helpless humour. He wasn’t the first. He won’t be the last. Erectile dysfunction is no longer rare, and it certainly doesn’t care about your salary slip.
In 25 years of practice, I’ve been asked every version of that question—from worried wives to anxious grooms, middle-aged men in denial to 30-something fitness freaks. Erectile Dysfunction (ED) has quietly become a modern epidemic. Not that the penis was ever immune to pressure, but today it’s cracking under the weight of expectations, cholesterol, Instagram, belly fat, and performance anxiety.
Let me say this: ED is no longer a grandfather’s problem.
It’s the software engineer in his 30s who sits 12 hours a day and survives on biryani, coke, and Wi-Fi. It’s the businessman whose idea of intimacy is forwarding heart emojis between meetings. It’s the gym-obsessed guy gulping protein shakes, confusing biceps with libido.
I once had a patient, a techie, who was newly married. He came in with a long list of supplements he was already taking: ashwagandha capsules, multivitamins, testosterone boosters from Amazon, and some suspicious powder gifted by a “well-meaning” gym bro. His complaint? “Doc, it’s not getting up like it used to.”
I asked him, “When did it start?”
He replied, “After I got married.”
I nodded. “Welcome to reality.”
ED today has less to do with ageing and more to do with lifestyle, stress, hormones, and self-worth. In Ayurveda, this condition is often linked to Klaibya—erectile dysfunction—which may arise from factors like Vata imbalance, mental stress, or Shukrakshaya, the depletion of reproductive essence. But the root often lies in manas—the mind. The man is erect only when the man inside him is calm, rested, confident, and connected.
Let’s clear up a few common myths.
Myth 1: ED means you are not attracted to your partner.
False. ED is not a verdict on your marriage. It’s not even about attraction sometimes. It’s about stress, fatigue, suppressed emotions, low testosterone, or even poor blood circulation. I’ve treated men who can lift 100 kg at the gym but not themselves in the bedroom.
Myth 2: It’s all in your head.
Also false. Yes, the mind plays a role. But so does poor diet, smoking, alcohol, sedentary lifestyle, diabetes, obesity, and even tight underwear. (Yes, I said it.)
A woman once asked, “Can belly fat cause ED?” I replied, “Yes. And not just fat. The daily sugar overdose, midnight Netflix binges, and that third helping of mutton curry—everything adds up.”
You’d be surprised how many men lose their morning erection along with their waistline. Testosterone, the hormone responsible for desire and performance, dips with belly fat. In Ayurveda, excessive kapha and ama (toxins) block the vital vata channels—especially the Vyana and Apana vayu—which are responsible for arousal, erection, and ejaculation.
I once told a patient, “Your gut and groin are more connected than you think.” He laughed. Then he stopped eating fried food. And guess what? His morning salute returned.
Another myth: “Low sperm count causes ED.”
Wrong again. Low sperm count and ED can share causes—stress, heat, toxicity—but one doesn’t necessarily cause the other. They are cousins, not twins.
A lot of young men ask, “What can I drink for a full erection?”
I tell them, ‘Start with water.’ Hydration is underrated. Then warm milk with ashwagandhadi churna or gokshura. Some swear by dry dates soaked in milk overnight. Avoid ice-cold drinks—they dampen your agni, which in Ayurveda affects all body functions, including sexual vigour.
As for food, eat like you love your body. Ghee, soaked almonds, pumpkin seeds, black sesame, urad dal, garlic, drumsticks, and bananas. Not chips, beer, or factory-made protein bars.
Let’s talk about the mental side.
Many men fear one failed attempt. It shakes their confidence, and they spiral into overthinking; the next time becomes a test. And then, as they say, “the more you try to make it work, the more it won’t.”
This is where I often introduce Vajikarana Chikitsa—Ayurveda’s specialised rejuvenation therapy for male health. But before I reach for the medicines, I start with the mind.
I ask,
“Do you sleep well?”
“Do you feel safe in your relationship?”
“Do you enjoy sex, or does it feel like a test you keep failing?”
And often, the answers unlock more healing than any herb.
I recall one young man, nervous and embarrassed, his eyes cast down. “Doc, I get hard too fast and then it disappears.”
I smiled and said, “That’s okay. Even fireworks don’t last long. But they still light up the sky.”
He laughed. I gave him herbs like Kapikacchu, Ashwagandha, and Shilajit. We worked on his breath, his sleep, his fear. He was back in form in six weeks—not just physically, but emotionally as well.
Another patient in his late 40s confessed, “I lose it halfway. It’s humiliating.”
I reassured him, “Going soft isn’t failure. It’s feedback.”
Erectile dysfunction is a signal. It prompts us to pause and reflect on our lifestyle, health, emotions, and expectations. It’s the body’s way of saying: “Hey, something’s off. Listen to me.”
And to wives, girlfriends, and partners who come to me distressed—please, don’t take it personally. Support, don’t shame. Touch, don’t taunt. Intimacy begins long before the bedroom.
One lady said, “We stopped even hugging. He avoids me.”
I said, “Then start by sitting close again. Laugh together. Cook together. Fall in love again. Erections are shy—they show up when you’re relaxed, not when you’re under interrogation.”
In Ayurveda, the ojas—your deepest vitality—is what nourishes sexual strength. And ojas is built from peace, not pressure. From real food, not fast food. From rest, not restlessness.
There’s no magic pill. There is only a magic lifestyle.
A walk at dawn. A laugh with a loved one. 7 hours of sleep. A warm oil massage. A diet rich in life. An Ayurvedic rasayana for 3 months. A relationship rooted in safety, not performance. That’s what gets it up. And keeps it up.
When someone asks, “Doc, he’s not getting erect.”
I won’t just ask about testosterone.
I’ll ask: “Is he eating real food? Breathing fully? Sleeping deeply? Loving freely?”
In the age of screens and speed, a softening is not always a sign of weakness. Erections are not just about blood flow.
They are about life flow.
When life flows, love follows.
