Anger Management: Simple, Effective DIY Techniques You Can Try Today

There was a time when anger was considered a sign of strength. You banged a table, shattered a cup, and people called you a ‘man of power.’ Today, that power move can get you labelled as ‘toxic,’ or worse, as someone in desperate need of a therapist. One of my patients, a well-read, sharp-minded gentleman, sent me a text the other day: “Doc, any inputs on anger management and emotional regulation, beyond meditation or mindfulness? Not medicines. Any thoughts?”

The question stayed with me, swirling around like that mosquito that refused to buzz off.

Anger. It’s a visitor—an uninvited guest. One of my teachers once told me, ‘Treat your guests well. But don’t let them build a house in your mind.’

Now, let’s talk about anger management, the DIY way. Yes, meditation works wonders, but let’s go beyond that. Imagine standing in front of a mirror, eyes locked onto your reflection, and saying out loud, ‘Calm down. Seriously. You’re going to regret this tantrum in five minutes.’ Sounds silly? Trust me, it’s not. The mirror can be your fiercest accountability partner.

Then there’s the backwards counting technique. Ever tried counting down from fifty while pinching yourself lightly on the wrist? That little sting serves as a jolt back to the present moment. It’s not a punishment; it’s a gentle wake-up call. The brain registers a tiny discomfort and shifts focus, breaking the anger loop. And if pinching feels too drastic, try snapping a rubber band against your wrist. It’s a tangible reminder that you are in control.

A patient of mine, a middle-aged man with a penchant for shouting matches, once told me, ‘Doc, when my wife starts yelling, I just stare at the ceiling fan and count the blades. Keeps me away from saying things I’ll regret later.’ That’s another gem. Focus shifting. You don’t have to be a monk to practice it.

Ayurveda, of course, has its take on anger. Anger is Pitta gone rogue. Visualise a kettle on a stove. The water inside is your mind. Pitta is the fire beneath. Too much fire, and the water boils over. What do we do? Turn down the heat. Pitta pacifying practices can be as simple as sipping rose water, chewing fennel seeds, or rubbing a few drops of sandalwood oil onto your temples: small actions, significant shifts.

Let’s get to the elephant in the room — family dynamics. If one thing can send even the calmest soul into a fiery rage, it’s unresolved tension at home. Once, a woman in her fifties, an accomplished teacher, came to me complaining of chronic migraines. After a few sessions, she admitted, ‘It’s not the migraine, Doc. My husband cannot put his dirty socks in the laundry basket.’

Ayurveda teaches that repressed emotions can disrupt the flow of energy and aggravate Pitta, leading to mental and physical imbalances. Think of it like a traffic jam in your mind. The more you bottle up, the more pressure builds. That’s why I suggest a simple practice called “Cooling Pranayama” — inhaling deeply through the nose, holding for a count of four, and exhaling slowly through the mouth. It’s basic, but profound. You’re releasing heat, not just steam.

Could you change your perspective? I once read somewhere that it’s like holding a hot coal to throw at someone when you’re angry. Who gets burned first? You. Every time. I share this with my patients. ‘Who are you hurting by holding onto this anger? Them or yourself?’ It’s usually met with a sheepish grin and a reluctant nod.

Studies show that anger releases a cocktail of stress hormones, spiking blood pressure and cortisol levels. But guess what? A simple act like washing your face with cool water can reset your parasympathetic nervous system. Think about that the next time you feel like breaking a mug. Splash some water instead.

One last story. A young man approached me, frustrated that his career wasn’t starting as fast as he’d hoped. ‘I just want to scream sometimes,’ he said, eyes brimming with tears. I handed him a notepad and said, ‘Write down everything you want to scream. All of it. Unfiltered. Then rip it up. Burn it. Let it go.’

The following week, he returned and said, ‘Doc, I did it. And you’re right. Burning that paper was like burning that anger. It’s not gone. But it’s lighter.’

Anger isn’t the enemy. It’s a message. Letting it explode, implode, or float away like a cloud is up to us. Try one of these tiny, actionable practices whenever you feel that surge of heat rising from your chest to your temples. Look in the mirror and say, ‘Calm down, you will regret this.’ Count backwards from fifty. Snap a rubber band. Sip some rose water. Watch the fan blades spin. Or write it down and burn it.

Anger is a storm — ride it, release it, but never let it drown you.